googleable.

lets see if you find my blog.

BOSTON.

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

i dont always get what i want, but i always want what i get.

so ive been a bit upset the past few days. its been everything. getting everything i want, not getting everything i want, the way days have ended up, its just bugged and been quite irritable.

but i realized something right now. things cannot always go as i perfectly would like them, sometimes they get fucked and are not what i expected at all.

i cant always control the decisions people around me will make, and i cant always make you choose me. but i cant choose who i wanna be around the most, and the things i will sacrafice for them or him.

im a control freak. there are things that have made me this way though. i have a huge lack of trust for the ones that i trust the most. you may have never lied to me (yet), you may have nothing to hide from me, i may have the most trust i can have in you right now, but i dont wanna feel paranoid. december does this to me. it isnt even december yet and i feel like its gonna be an emotionally though month. i just wanna wake up and have everything go perfect. make me smile, call when you say you will, answer when i call, dont take forever to see what im doing, have ideas, make me smile.

because i want you. and i even if i cant have you all the time, im happy with what i do get of you.

im the new cancer, never looked better, you cant stand it.

theres a lot of things i wish i could quit. i could quit most things i try to, its a state of mind, but the one thing i cant quit, is killing me more and more everyday.

i dont know when we got here, or when i got here, because apparently i am here alone.

i expect the world from you, dont know why. but i should expect the world from you, because from the start youve slowly been giving me the world, one day at a time.

i cant go a day without you, ive tried. everyday without you is missing a big chunk.

everyday with you is filled with smiles and laughs. trying to fight back a smile when i get upset and you know exactly whats wrong and how to fix it.

so how do you live up to these expectations? because lately your not. you try your hardest but theres limitations to us. and honestly im tired of it, i want you all the time. i dont wanna have to pretend this is nothing, but clearly its too much right now and too soon.

your the hardest addiction to quit.