bad luck twice up

my luck is fucked lately. its like my life is a series of unfortunate events, its hard to look at the bright side of anything when shits just fucked.
i hate working so many night shifts, i love it, i love the people, and better money, but i cant get anything in my life straight or done.
my car is fucked, still. i have no money, still. school is school, its whatever, which i wish could be more. i wake up, i lie in bed because honestly that is all i wanna do lately, i finally get up and go through the one hour routine of getting ready for work, which consists of hair and nails and make it into work, i work for eight hours for money that cannot be spent and must be saved. i get off work and honestly all i want is to spend time with the one who makes me smile and forget the bullshit. but what you wanna do is hard to do when you have no transportation and have to rely on others to get where you want and what you want.
im tired. im tired of trying so hard for nothing. tired of trying to play of the feelings i have for someone just to not piss someone else off. tired of not being able to be friends and just friends with someone because they have limits.
life should not be about what we limit ourselves too, but it is entirely made up of boundaries and lines we cannot cross.
i dont know where im going with this. to be honest, its hard to focus or organize anything at the moment. what i need is to not be restricted anymore, to be around the one who makes me smile,a car, or maybe a million dollars.
loves.

xo

i thought we could wait for the fireworks.

so ive been avoiding this blog for some time. ill admit ive been busy living, ive been busy forgetting about you. but not every blog needs to be about a boy i cant stand. they can be about a boy i absolutely love with all my heart. a boy who never fails to make me smile, and boy that i cannot live without, even if i tried.

so whats happened in the last year?

ive learned to move on. ive learned to be happy. ive learned that not everyone needs to know "what im doing" via twitter. ive learned that we only have one life to live so live it up. ive learned that too much is never too much, if i wanna see you everyday im going to see you. ive learned that not all boys have the intention of lying and hurting girls, there are ones out there i can still trust. boys that will do anything to make you smile, boys to be boring with.

we meet dozens of people throughout our life, relationships fails, we meet people to who meet people. be happy in the moment. treasure everything and everyone you have, because you never know when they will change their mind, or for that matter when i will change my mind.